Wanting What You Can't Have

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY 

I always want what I can't have like how I want to be a pop star who travels the world with my girlband who actually double up as my bestfriends and we dance&sing our way through life, I want to be living in LA taking photos of my outfits as a job, I want the world to be cancer free so no more people have to fall victim to the disease, I want to own 600 designer bags and have them all displayed nicely in my walk in wardrobe that is the same size as a three bedroom house.... I think you get the point that I want what I can't have. But more realistically and less materialistic I want the boy who doesn't want me, I want the job someone else has got and I want the appearance I don't have. 

I would never sit and normalise something like not being happy about what you don't have because that is 100% not the way to live your life and there are people so much worse off (such a horrible and sad thought) however I believe in everything happens for a reason and that good things do honestly come to those who wait. 

  I haven't been the Sophie I know for a few weeks now and I'm sure when she comes back she will be back with a bang but for now I'm taking my time at adjusting to certain emotions and situations that I didn't know I needed to feel but I have learnt from them and instead of dwelling on what could of been I'm getting excited for what is to come. Everyone can have those little moments of weakness and boy have I had them these past couple of weeks and especially these last couple of days but I think I've still got up everyday and tried my hardest at my job and my hardest to be as happy as I can. 

   It's super difficult to let someone go when it was the last thing you wanted to happen and it's super difficult to see everyone progress when you're stood still with no signs of moving forward. Whats not super difficult is letting people help you get through it. 

Never let someone else leaving make you think you are not good enough because you are and they are simply just missing out. You can't make everyone stay in your life but you can make people want to be in it and they are the people that you need to focus on because they are the people that will never let you down. So to the boys that broke my heart, to the colleagues who have the job that I want and to the girls with the face I'll never ever have... Thank you for teaching me that I need to work hard for what I want, I need to stop looking in the mirror and thinking what if and I need to stop crying over someone who I was too good for anyway. 

Smile and the world will smile with you. 

Soph x