Wanting What You Can't Have

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY 

I always want what I can't have like how I want to be a pop star who travels the world with my girlband who actually double up as my bestfriends and we dance&sing our way through life, I want to be living in LA taking photos of my outfits as a job, I want the world to be cancer free so no more people have to fall victim to the disease, I want to own 600 designer bags and have them all displayed nicely in my walk in wardrobe that is the same size as a three bedroom house.... I think you get the point that I want what I can't have. But more realistically and less materialistic I want the boy who doesn't want me, I want the job someone else has got and I want the appearance I don't have. 

I would never sit and normalise something like not being happy about what you don't have because that is 100% not the way to live your life and there are people so much worse off (such a horrible and sad thought) however I believe in everything happens for a reason and that good things do honestly come to those who wait. 

  I haven't been the Sophie I know for a few weeks now and I'm sure when she comes back she will be back with a bang but for now I'm taking my time at adjusting to certain emotions and situations that I didn't know I needed to feel but I have learnt from them and instead of dwelling on what could of been I'm getting excited for what is to come. Everyone can have those little moments of weakness and boy have I had them these past couple of weeks and especially these last couple of days but I think I've still got up everyday and tried my hardest at my job and my hardest to be as happy as I can. 

   It's super difficult to let someone go when it was the last thing you wanted to happen and it's super difficult to see everyone progress when you're stood still with no signs of moving forward. Whats not super difficult is letting people help you get through it. 

Never let someone else leaving make you think you are not good enough because you are and they are simply just missing out. You can't make everyone stay in your life but you can make people want to be in it and they are the people that you need to focus on because they are the people that will never let you down. So to the boys that broke my heart, to the colleagues who have the job that I want and to the girls with the face I'll never ever have... Thank you for teaching me that I need to work hard for what I want, I need to stop looking in the mirror and thinking what if and I need to stop crying over someone who I was too good for anyway. 

Smile and the world will smile with you. 

Soph x 

Dear Boys,

Dear Boys,

         I am not going to sit here and say girls are perfect. We can be moody and distant, we can be over emotional and extra soppy, We can do this really great thing at making it look like we don't care and we can do this really stupid thing of showing we care too much. Depending on the boy and the situation these things apply to most girls and if they don't then I don't know how you girls do it. I am also not going to sit here and say this is aimed at all boys but the majority of you could do with reading this.
  Too many times have I myself and other girls felt sad and unappreciated because of a boy. I have been made to feel like their is something wrong with my appearance, my personality and even my age. Other girls I know have been cheated on and made to believe it was their fault. We have been made to feel like we are only ever in the wrong and if something has gone wrong we should only blame ourselves.
  Boys will never understand what girls go through and how their emotions are on a constant loop. Each month we have to go through pain, we have to go through feeling insecure and paranoid about  silly stuff and so many other things. Periods are something that are neither enjoyable physically and mentally yet that is not an excuse for you boys to think it's a fair reason for you to blame why we are feeling vulnerable and unwanted on and most of the time it is still because you are being an arsehole.
   I do not have the authority to speak for every single female that walks the planet but I know from personal experience and sadly other girls in my life that boys, especially from my generation, do not know how to appreciate what is good until it is gone. Oh and trust me when we are gone it took us many sleepless nights to do it because we care and we secretly hold on because we think it is all going to work out in the end. We are not stupid or dumb for trusting in someone to change because you hope that maybe they like/love you enough to stop causing you pain and sometimes boys take note and do but sadly most of the time they don't.
  Why do you think it is okay to have little to no contact without warning and then not go on to think about the girl you have been dating/seeing/in a relationship with? Why is that okay to do to anyone? It's not. the truth may really hurt but lying and making someone rack their brains over what they have done wrong is more painful than being a man and coming clean about how you feel. Grow some balls.
   You say it's wrong timing and that We are great girls but really if you thought that you wouldn't of spent months building up a girls trust and confidence in you to then let her down 'gently'.


Girls do not settle for boys who make you doubt yourself or who make you feel like you're constantly in the wrong because there will be a man out there that wants you for you and nothing less.


Soph x

SWEATER WEATHER

THE FIRST AUTUMN OUTFIT 

I'm so obsessed with how this shoot came out so shout out to my other half Charlotte (her blog is IAMCHARLOTTEOLIVIA check it out) for being the pro photography that we all know she is deep down. 

  ANYWAY it's that annoying weather that means you walk out the house in the morning with 3 tops, 2 jumpers, a huge coat and 6 scarves (slight exaggeration there obviously hehe) and then end up ripping it all off half way through the day because it is too hattt SO layering is essential because you want to be warm enough on your morning walk to work but then not sweating buckets on the walk home. If I could layer all year I would and I do tend to try but now it's getting colder we can properly layer and that makes one happy Soph. 

  Black jeans are a must this time of year and to add to the cosy vibe I am wearing my trusty skinny Jamie jeans from Topshop. Black is so easy to layer with so they are always a go to which means I can have it all going on on the top half. 

  I'm wearing a very old topshop white basic crop top with my new SUPER SOFT sheep looking jumper from Primark. If you haven't already get your butt down to Primark because they have some absolute gems in there at the mo! Anyway the jumper was only a tenner and it's perfect to help me start building up my winter wardrobe and lets not forget to mention HOW FRICKEN SOFT IT IS. I got it in a few sizes up so that it was oversized and easy to layer over tops. 

Layered over the top of that is my fav faux leather jacket that I got last year from Topshop (surprise surprise) which is perfect for that cold morning to warm afternoon transition as it's not thin but it's not too thick for later on in the day. 

Then to finish the look I have my fav boots ever that are from public desire a few years ago. They are uncomfortable and I complained the whole time but boy are they worth it because you can not get a more autumnal shoe (you probably can but not one that I would wear). 

 

 

And there it is my first autumn outfit post for you all and I couldn't be more happy to say that. IT'S BASICALLY CHRISTMAS!! Have a very lovely day/night. Over and out. 

When someone is watching you have photos taken.

Soph x

How To Visual Merchandise-Topshop

HOW TO MERCHANDISE A WALL

When ever I tell someone I'm a Visual Merchandiser for Topshop and Topman I mainly get the nod of 'have no idea what that is but cool' which I don't blame anyone for because not even I knew really what that was till I started. It's a lot of tiring work, It's re-doing the same wall over and over again till its perfect and it's quite physically challenge at times (mostly because of the stairs in my store... THEY ARE A KILLER) but in the end it can be incredibly rewarding. I wanted to do a step by step blog post so people can really see how much effort goes into one tiny part of the store and a tiny part of my day and hope people will start to understand why at 7 o'clock I'm ready for bed. So here is how I merchandise a wall for Topshop. 

7 AM

This is where my day starts.. bright and early and with a coffee in my hand. Seeing as we are now going into A/W 17 our store is under huge 'construction' in a way. Over the past few weeks we've been on late's and early's to prepare us for our model store sign off. What is a model store sign off I hear you say? WELL as the season changes so do our stores.... MASSIVELY. We get given packs which include 'girls' which are our trends throughout the store, The store layout (this year we have basically had to move the whole store around and that being across two floors is not easy I'll tell you that), a creative pack for painting and mannequins and just overall pointers on how they want us to merchandise each area of the store. For the past couple of weeks I have been given the girl 'stylist' and she is all about the monochrome, clean, edgy but cool style. A lot of people think its the 'office style' section AND IT IS NOT so my mission for the past few weeks is to make it look as cool as I can which is hard considering I've only really had old stock but we are finally getting a lot of intake in for the trend and it is starting to really come together all in time for our sign off next tuesday *gulps*.

RACKING UP

The first thing I have to do in order to re-merch the wall is to obviously strip it which actually takes a bit of time especially with a very large wall which thankfully I didn't really have (still big nevertheless) and while I strip I have to pick one of each product so I have them ready to place my ones. All the ones go on to my trusty silver rail and then I try to create outfits ready to put into the wall and I'm good to go. Usually you can change the arm configuration on the wall but until sign off we have to keep it to how it is in the pack but it did take a while to perfect the layout of this trend so I was happy to not have to deal with that. I also did the floor fixture which you can't see in these pictures. 

PLACING YOUR ONES

So we finally get onto the exciting part.. placing. I start off with the floor fixtures because you need to make them stand out especially as stylist is right at the front of the store so it's even more essential to have something eye catching. In the pack they describe 'key outfits' which we have to try and achieve as best as possible and the day before my manager had racked up very kindly two key outfits for my trend which helped me out. I placed one on the floor fixture and one in the wall then it's all down to me. Topshop are going quite low density when it comes to merchandising so making it look sleek and clean is harder said then done when you have 1000 pieces of clothing on a wall that fits 200 at a push. 

We have started to get in more textures so balancing that across the wall is essential along with pattern. Monochrome sounds super easy to work with but it's actually more difficult than working with colour if I do say so myself but the final outcome is very satisfying to look at. Also with it being at the front of the store I feel so much pressure to make it look as cool and enticing as I can considering I have absolutely no colour to draw you in. You have to think about what things are next to each other and if someone would wear them together. Then you have to balance out trousers and skirts with tops, coats and jumpers making sure a jumper isn't next to another jumper or if there is a top to go with that skirt and blazer. So much to consider but the biggest rule of merchandising is to not over think. Place your ones and then start to fill and if you don't like it then you can move it about after. Obviously only do this if you are happy with the majority of the wall because it will just take 

you a million years to go back and do it all again. 

8 am-FILLING IN AND ADJUSTING 

It really starts to come together when you begin to fill in the wall and you can start to get a real idea of how it will end up looking like and this is where you can start to play around. You can see how much of one product you have and if it really does look right there. It's all about looking and adjusting what you have done to make it even more perfect. This is my favourite part of the whole process because it's very satisfying to see it all come together, see it all fill up and just to see the three large rails of clothes behind you turn into just one. The hard part comes next... 

FRAGMENTATION 

Once you have placed your wall and floor fixtures you have to then try and hide all of your frag and in our store WE HAVE A LOT. There are definitely trends that have so much frag your brain becomes frazzled after two minutes so luckily for me there wasn't that much however I have a smaller wall and a lot of product so that is where the issue comes in but alas I did it and only complained like 5 times. 

9am- OUT POSTING AND FINISHING OFF

I actually managed to forget to take photos of the final walls BUT I'll still run you through what happens at 9 when the store opens and you should be pretty much done with all the filling in. Most of the time I'm still feeding in frag but after that I have to do the accessorising or as we call it 'out posting'. The shelves and the racking on the wall needed a refresh and so that is what I did. I ended up changing one of the shoes on the shelf as the boots had sold out, took the shoes off the racking on the wall and replaced them with three prongs across and two down instead of the four across and two done which neatened it up, Put a fashion waist belt (have no idea what they are called) on the racking along with a new bag and finally put some prongs on the t-arms with bags on throughout the trend. We also went on to add an accessory tree on the table next to the floor fixture to add some nice silver freedom pieces on. 

So that is how I re-merch a wall and as you can see a lot of thinking, effort and time goes in to this but also I have time limits and guidelines to follow. After this I had to do a thousand other jobs (I know cry me a river) and when I got home I was ready for my loving bed. I'm actually really happy with how this came out because we have struggled for a couple of weeks with this trend and I feel like it really is getting there. I got some very positive feedback from it which makes all the hard work worth it even when the coffee hasn't kicked in and I'm ready to take a nap on the shop floor. 

So from me to you MY JOB IS SO COOL. Have a lovely day. 

Soph x 

A Round Up Of Summer 2017

SUMMER MEMORIES

To say this has been one of the best summers of my life doesn't quite cut it. I've loved and lost, I've experienced a lot of hate and a lot of happiness, I've met people who I never thought I needed but I do and I've seen the people who have been in my life for a while and have made me remembered how lucky I am. Although I'm sad summer is basically over I am SO EXCITED for autumn and winter to roll around so I can drink, boogie, celebrate and eat my way through my favourite time of year with the people who have made me the happiest I have ever been. 

NEW BEGINNINGS 

This summer I have defo had to start over a few times (for good and bad reasons) with certain things like relationships and my job but I don't regret any of it because amazing things have come out of those things. 

 My job has been a huge step up for me and I actually can't quite believe it sometimes that at the age of 19 I'm well on my way to my dream career without the help of uni. I would of loved to of gone to uni and I appreciate everyone who has the balls and determination to do it but what I don't like is how people feel they can shove their opinions down your throat and tell you that you will get no where without it. I am a hands on person and I love to work and learn my way up through things so that is exactly what I am going to do and fuck me am I working hard. My new job doubles up as a day at the gym, it's early mornings and late nights, it's about taking criticism and having to re-do something over and over again until it's perfect BUT it's creative, it's challenging and FUN. I'm pushing myself everyday to become better and better and I've picked it up so quickly if I do say so myself. I'm going to work and push myself harder and hopefully soon I will start to see more of an outcome. 

I'm not going to get in to relationships but I have seen that you need to find yourself someone who is like you in the sense of how driven they are, how mature they are, how they handle certain situations and how fun they are. I think for me I needed to find someone who has experience loss like I have, who knows exactly what they are doing and looks after themselves, maybe someone a bit older and most importantly can be aware of life but can make fun of themselves and who does not take everything so seriously. I need someone who is similar to me, who can wind me up and keep my on my toes and who loves their family and friends like I do HOWEVER I do know that I don't NEED someone but it would be nice to have someone. 

   FRIENDS

This summer would have not been half as good if I wasn't surrounded by my pals. We have laughed, danced our butts off and laughed more. My birthday was one of the highlights of the summer and it was because it made me realise how loving these girlies are. They made my birthday weekend so much fun and I couldn't thank them enough for showing me that I deserve that. The night we went out was the highlight of my WHOLE summer because not only did we make fun of ourselves on the dance floor but we chatted on the top floor of classy revs for hours, mingled with some new people and just ended up having a really fun time. We have made lots of fun summer memories that I will treasure but I'm so excited to carry on the fun memories into the winter because it can only get better.

 

To you Jadey, know that I love you no matter the distance or the amount of times I get to see you. Nothing makes me more proud than to be your friend and I'm so incredibly happy for you. Hard work pays off and you're my biggest inspiration. The summer memories we have made are tiny compared to the previous years but still good nevertheless and I'm grateful you were part of my summer. I miss you everyday but I know you are working hard and succeeding more than anyone I know and no one deserves it more than you. I love you Moon. 

CHARLOTTE

Don't quite know where to start but I will say THANK YOU. I love all my friends but with half of them living away from Cambridge it's not so easy to spend time with them but I know we will see each other after a month or two and still be like we were. With Charlotte things are a little different. We work alongside each other everyday, we laugh and cry together (me more than her haha) and we do this whole blog thing together. We have a bond I couldn't explain even if I tried to (cringe) and so being able to experience all the things I've experienced this summer with you by my side has made everything 200% better. You have got me through a failed relationship and all the crap that came with it, you spent the whole of my birthday weekend with me, We went to festivals and enjoyed some pretty good music and we literally have done everything in between. Stressful days at work are made a little less stressful when I know I can go and see you for a five second laugh over something that wouldn't be funny to anyone else but us. Needing to go out and dance for a good few hours with a jagerbomb and vodka lemonade and knowing you will never turn that down. Being able to go out and chose a restaurant within 10 seconds (always pizza express) and I'll order for the both of us without even needing to ask the question 'what do you want' are some of the things that make me super grateful I grew some balls at the end of last year and invited you to the clothes show with me even though we had never spoken outside of work. We have both had ups and downs this summer but we have gone through it together and that will never change. I love you. BRING ON THE FESTIVE SEASON. 

FAMILY

I don't need to go and explain why my family have made my summer amazing because I've gone on about it enough with my previous blogs but considering this was one of the best days it's only fair to add it onto this already very lengthy blog post about my summer memories and boy will I never forget this. I was able to watch my speech back the other day and it was so lovely to look back at it and know that everything I felt that day have not changed at all. I finally feel complete when it comes to family which is something I have struggled with my whole life so that's an amazing memory within itself. 

TO THE BEST SUMMER EVER

To round this all up I just want to say how content and happy I am. People come and go even the people you really wish would stay but you will always have people who accept you for you and can see past you minor flaws and appreciate you. You should surround yourself with people who make you laugh and happy and not people you feel like you are always trying to impress. I hope you made your summer count because you will never get it back and here is to a more festive, chilly and layering season that brings people together and make the end of this year really really special. If you made it this far then well done and I hope your summer was just as good as mine. Over and out. 

Soph X 

Outfit Of The Day

THURSDAYS

I don't know about you but thursday are my 'I have hit the wall' kind of day. I wake up for work and can't help but hit the snooze button even though all week I've done so well to stop myself and I put on the smallest amount of makeup known to man so when it comes to my lazy thursday outfit I look for comfort and basic. I always find that these outfits turn out the best of my whole week and so I finally got over the 'I hate Thursdays' mindset, got me some pictures and now here we are. 

My mom jeans are something I tend to forget I have because I'm so consumed by my skinny black jeans but I got them out and these are just my slightly distressed black moms from Topshop which I think are old now but there will defo be something identical. 

  I'm wearing my fav top of all time due to the fact it's so comfortable, I don't (probs do) have to wear a bra and it just adds a bit more edge vs my normal black and white tops. It's from Newlook but sadly again this is ancient but I think they still do tops just like it if you're interested. 

  My shoes are just my trusty red striped superstars and they are the only pair of shoes I have at the moment that are not covered in blue paint due the lates I've worked recently and basically becoming a decorator. 

  My grey hoodie is from H&M and I love how this looks with mom jeans as it gives such a vintage vibe and i'm all about the 90's. 

 Now for the most exciting part of this simple outfit... the coat. Thank the lord it is getting cold enough for coats because I have had withdrawal symptoms so when I saw this while putting out the new lines for Topshop (that is my job if you didn't know) I knew I had to have it. Me and my bestie Charlotte actually got it at the same time and today we basically showed up in the same outfit but are we mad about it? HELL NO. Anyway... this cropped denim coat is very dreamy and you should all go invest in it. 

  

Soz for the rambling but hope you enjoyed this simple and plain jane outfit! 

Soph X