Making A Bad Situation Into A Good One

MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST.

Although it's my day off and I should be happy, I've been thinking all day 'As much as I want to be in bed this means I'll be working all weekend' and after all day going through my work app and sending messages back and forth to my team (what a loser day off I know) I started to realise why I'm in the position I'm in..... And I got a gush of achievement.

 I got a voice note from someone I'm working really closely with at work and consider a good friend about how they had achieved loads over the day and did everything I asked him (nicely) to do and at the end he said 'come in tomorrow and do your magic' and at that point I was like HOLY SMOKES. Not a bad 'Holy Smokes' but a good one because although I know the team and have for a while I've actually only been Topman's (only) visual merchandiser for a week and a bit and I already feel like such a respected part of the team and it's the bestest feeling especially as I haven't felt that in a long time.....

When I say 'making a bad situation into a good one' it was aimed at a lot of aspects of my life like my job, my relationships and friendships but mainly based on my mental health. I was the visual merchandiser for mainly Topshop and Topman before converting entirely to Topman and the team was a lot different. We had a much larger team of about 7 compared to my team of 1 now (with a lot of support that I make help me out haha) and it was so difficult to really know your place. My job is so fast paced that (in Topshop) you don't get much time for your development and you have to go through so many people that you never really grasp the real reason as to why you are re-merching the wall you did just yesterday and so for me I felt I need to take the contract for Topman and focus on progression and most importantly to me.... learning why I do what I do. 

Since moving to Topman I feel important in my role but not more important then anyone else because we come as a team (does that make sense? probs not) and we all know where we all stand and want to lift each other up rather than watch us fall. The same can't be said about Topshop and that's not me slating the people but it's just the way it goes in a large and very fast-pace store and you'll get that anywhere! I respect all of the Topshop team but I knew for me that my best way to progress within my job and the business would to make the brave step into Topman and I haven't looked back so far. 

When it comes to my relationship status I've had an interesting coping mechanism (to bash boys on my blog apparently) since the last person I was seeing turned out to be someone I really didn't expect him to be but I've turned the page and now focusing on me and although that bad part of my life will still pop every now and again to remind me of him/us (WHO HAS A FAMILY COMPANY WITH A MILLION LORRIES THAT DRIVE PAST YOU EVERYDAY AND WORK RIGHT WHERE YOU PARK ANYWAY) but I've been on a date and I'm focusing on my career so really that time of my life is coming to an end and I'm trying to make the best out of this single life situation as best as I can. 

Basically you have to rely on yourself to make your own happiness because once you allow other people to do that then when they let you down it's a lot harder to get back up without wanting it all back again and you SHOULD never dwell on the past but always be excited for what is to come. Making a bad situation into a good one applies to every aspect of life and although some bad situations are harder to mend know that if you want to be happy then one day it will come to you because controlling your life is a lot more fulfilling and healthy then letting someone else control it for you. 

Soph x    

Fuck Boys.. And Fuck Girls: Is It Really A Bad Thing?

GOING WITH THE FLOW

I was once seeing a boy who said he would only be satisfied with a blog post if his name was in the title... so your wish is finally my command. 

Before you think this is a boy bashing blog I want to say it really isn't. It's all about knowing what you want and what you don't want even when it's a scary thing especially when society is telling you what you should want and what you shouldn't want. I've been in this rut that I like to call 'Soph has no heart' since I got shamefully dumped a couple of months ago. I used to be obsessed with the idea of love that I would fall quick and hard and that is exactly what I did only to be shot down a lot quicker and a lot harder but it has taught me a lot and now I'm all about the having fun and saying 'FUCK YOU' to love.... for now anyway.

I used to hate the idea of seeing multiple people at once and going on a series of dates to find 'the one' but now that doesn't really bother me at all. Granted I can't get a lot of people to want to date me BUT i'm more of a Soph there really knows there are plenty more fish in the big old sea so the first guy you go on a date with that laughs at things you wouldn't laugh at and who orders the tuna pasta that you have phobia of, maybe isn't the one. People like to just go on dates and people meet the person they have been meaning to find on that first date too and both are completely okay. I'm young, starting my career and SINGLE so why the hell can I not want to flirt with a few guys or go on two or twenty dates (if I was ever that lucky)? Don't panic if at first you don't succeed because who the fuck cares.

The term 'sleeping around' has always been seen in such a negative way but what really is all that wrong with it? If two people make an agreement that they want to just have a bit of fun with no strings then hey bloody go for it, they aren't hurting anymore. Life can be too overwhelming at times that the thought of even 'seeing' someone seems like an impossible task so having a bit of fun every now and again with someone else who wants to have a bit of fun every now and again doesn't sound like a completely awful plan. The words 'slut' and 'slag' fly around social media when you've had sex with more than -3 people especially when it's out of a relationship but really we should be egging people on to be truthful and mature about something that is truthful and super mature. There is plenty of time to find your future spouse so don't feel like you need to keep up with society's standards of #relationshipgoals and go and get laid if that is all you really want because lets be honest.... FEELINGS SUCK.

If there is anything I can really relate to it's the whole 'taking it slow' thing. I'm a taking it slow kind of girl (although I haven't always been) and I think that is something that I will be for the foreseeable future. Some people take two days to get into a relationship and I've known people to take two years and neither of those situations are wrong nor stupid. We used to tease my best friend A LOT for seeing her then boyfriend for like 9 months before making it official and now I take my baker boy hat off to her because that will be me when I eventually find someone who I deem (urm) acceptable enough to take me on more than one date. Being super chill and casual about a situation like a relationship can do really good things or really really bad things because sometimes (sadly for me... well his loss) one party can lose interest and not give 100% and that only ever leads to certain heartbreak and possibly even.... DEATH... just joking hehe. Putting the big old BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND label on can be either a really exciting and eager thought or a really scary and daunting thought so make sure you take as much time as you need and as much time as they need because rushing into things or taking things too slow can lead to hard times and well not hard times (if you get what I mean there...).

So from single me to you know that having a booty call, taking your time, or completely ignoring all of the opposite/same sex has it's pros and cons. You CAN be the 'slut' society seems to love to call people who have sex outside of marriage, you CAN be the boy who wants to takes things three years slow just so you know you really want it and you CAN be the girl who has been on three dates in one week just so you know you aren't missing that rare killer whale because why fucking not.

Have fun because life is too damn short.

Soph.... your fellow young, single and taking it real slow kinda gal x  

Recognition

I HAVE REALISED A LOT

This weekend I went back to where I grew up and to say I recognised how much my life has changed is an understatement. I saw family and friends, got drunk when I really shouldn't of, reminisced on funny memories but the most eye opening thing I did this whole weekend was talk about.... me. 

Obviously going back to where I moved away from people are going to ask me a lot of questions like 'How's living in cambridge?' 'how is the job going?' 'Who are your fit friends and are they single' and after having to answer these questions at least five different times I noticed all that I have achieved in the space of one year. It's crazy when you look back on twelve months because so much can happen and it's not really a long period of time. A lot of people have congratulated me on my job with a follow up question of 'what exactly do you do as a visual merchandiser' and a lot of people have asked either why I was with my ex boyfriend, how it ended or if I miss him/ the relationship at all. Obviously one conversation was easier than the other but I am an open person so I told them and moved swiftly on to ask what they had for dinner last night...

 I think for me recognising what I have achieved is a massive flaw of mine because I am always looking at what I haven't achieved. I'm a very driven person and I also want the next step but sometimes I need to sit back and look at what I've done and what I'm doing and so with people asking me what I've been up to since I moved I have had the chance to reflect and pat myself on the back a little bit. I've made mistakes, I've had people give up on me and I've had really crappy situations happen but I've made the bestest friends, I'm working my way up the career ladder and getting somewhere with that and most importantly I have lost people who never deserved me anyway. 

I came back to my 'home town' and I found out nasty and untrue rumours were being spread about me even though I had been gone a year and at first I was angry and maybe tweeted when I shouldn't of but then I realised if they are still talking about me then they clearly still care.... Imma just sit back with my tea on this one. But seriously I learnt that no matter what people are saying about me the people who truly know me have stuck up, stood by me and would not believe a single thing and that's why it is all worth it. My friend told me and immediately said 'don't worry Soph I didn't listen' and that was exactly why I was eating a kokoro with him and not them. 

What I'm trying to say is that no matter what stage of the year you are in, whether everything has gone downhill or whether everything is at it's peak, reflect on the last twelve months and note all that you have been through, whether you got a new job, a new friend, found love, got your heartbroken or still in the 'trying to find someone ANYONE PLS' stage of your life, was all worth it because it's all setting you up for the next twelve months and you can look back and thank the girl who spread the untrue rumours, the boy who you fell in love with, the family members you created the happiest of memories with and the friends who accepted you and believed in you because that's what life is all about. 

Recognising what you have achieved is one of the hardest things to do but don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. You're doing great. 

Soph x