Moving Away.... Again

I PUT ON MY BIG GIRL PANTS. 

In 3 years I have lived in 3 different places across the UK and each place getting further and further up north.
 Surrey to Cambridge to Manchester.
Each place completely different from the last and each place teaching me completely different things. 
Surrey taught me the main lessons in life, it's where I got my education and my first job, the place I learnt how to ride a bike and the place where I made my first friends.
Cambridge taught me how to be an adult with responsibility such as having a full time job and paying for a car that wants to breakdown so bad but I (more like my uncle) just won't let it.

And now Manchester. I haven't learnt how to ride a bike or had my first lesson on taxes but it's taught me what it's like to grow up. Not grow up in the boring sense but grow up in the sense that I have no family or friends (apart from Jenna who I moved with) so I need to learn to do things on my own. The scary case of getting myself out there and exploring an amazing city that has so much to offer.
I guess I am cheating a little bit because I have my best friend with me but I couldn't see myself here without her by my side or in this case in the room a floor below me.

We've only been here coming up to three weeks but already these three weeks have been the three weeks I've been dying for. Three weeks of exploring and meeting so many new people. Three weeks of sponging money on alcohol (sorry Dad) and dancing to Arctic Monkeys and Sam Fender. Three weeks of making my own dinners and maybe skipping a few for a nap instead (again sorry Dad) but these last few weeks have been nothing but fun, adventurous and to be completely honest.... fucking scary.

Being proud of myself is something I struggle to do but I'm not proud of myself, I'm proud of me and Jenna because we had a plan and we followed through. We came out of our comfort zones and moved to a place that we have wanted to be in for a long time. We have already made some amazing memories and I can't wait to see what the next three weeks, months or even (hopefully) years has to offer.

So from Surrey to Cambridge to Manchester.... moving away really isn't the difficult part its the waiting before. Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

(and to all my family members who have been worried about this since I mentioned it a few months ago.... I'm not dead yet so that's a good sign... right?)

Soph x

song of the blog: Moving on up - M people

Mental Health Awareness

I'm coming out of my blogging absence to write about the very reason why I stopped.

It's mental health awareness week and although it should be spoken about every week of the year I think it's finally time for me to put into words the way it flips peoples lives upside down every single day.

I'm not here to talk about my reasons or why my mental health went on the decline last year but what helped me semi overcome it. Everyone who needs to hear things like this should never feel ashamed for it and for me that was my biggest lesson. Not talking about it or even allowing yourself to recognise what you may be feeling is something I struggled with for years. I still to this day find it hard to open up and tell my family and friends how I feel but

It's okay to not be okay. Rule number one.

For a lot of people showing signs of 'weakness' is the very reason they hide the way they feel. You want to seem happy and positive all the time and if you crack then you are seen as a failure but that couldn't be further from the truth. Always remember that nobody is perfect so acting like your emotions are perfect is damaging. No one will judge you for a down day, week or month and if they do then they are not people you should surround yourself with. I found that out the hard way but am I glad I did.

Toxic situations and people is what made me so anxious to the point I would rather sleep all day then go and see my family and friends or go to work. It took over my whole life and I tried to hide it all at the same time. Don't do that. Fish out the problems and surround yourself with people who aren't out to get you which I know is sometimes a lot more easier said than done.
Don't be afraid to lose people who never intended to keep you in the first place.

There are so many things I can say and I want to say but the most important thing I learned is who you allow in your life and the situations you put yourself through. Always think of your mental health first especially if you are feeling extremely down or anxious. Don't leave it till the last minute and seek help if you need it.

I came to find writing poetry really helps ease my conscious and it was something I had never done before. I have very few people I consider friends that I trust and I've come to realise who has the best intentions. It all took me a long time with visits to the GP, sick notes off work and a mass clear out of nasty people from my life but now it's my turn to help others if and when they need/want to talk.

Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it is not there. Everyone is fighting their own battles so be kind always.

Lots of people do not understand how to react with mental health issues which is why speaking about it and spreading the word is so important. No one deserves to be alone and nobody should feel like they are. Help in anyway that you can if that be just listening, offering any form of advice that isn't patronising (I had that a lot) or even just being honest and saying you don't know how you can help but you know some well known charities and numbers that can.

Lets stop the stigma and talk about it. It's real and millions of people live everyday with it.
Mental health is equally as important as your physical health.

Samaritans- 116 123
SANEline- 0300 304 7000
Mind- 0300 123 393
CALM-0800 58 58 58

Soph x

365 Days Of My Fav Album

Happy Bday Staying at Tamaras 

Might sound so silly but I’m here to say happy bday to staying at tamaras by George Ezra. One whole year ago this album was realised and every since I’ve been obsessed. It made the best memories. It made the worst. It helps me when I’m down and it continues to keep me happy on the good days. 

Music to me is the most important thing. As long as I have music I really do not need much else. If I’m anxious, sad, happy, drunk, nervous, bored or even excited all I want to do is listen to something and I know that applies to all sorts of people. For as long as I can remember music has helped me in so many ways from school and exams to work and stress of life in general. 

However this album is something so special to me. I’ve always loved George and always will but this album has honestly made 2019 year for me and hopefully many more. It was a bad year and I’m still recovering from that but whenever i hear any of the songs I only feel happy which is surprising with some of the memories that come with some of the songs. 

I sound soppy and maybe a bit crazy but it’s got me through a lot and if you haven’t give it a listen. It’s full of fun, love, real life issues like anxiety and overall just a smashing album by a smashing guy. 

All my love is possibly my favourite song of all time so listen and appreciate that song, you won’t regret it.

Thank you George Ezra, you will never know me and you will never understand what this means to me but thank you. We all have that one thing that just makes them happy no matter what good and bad memories surround it and this album is that for me. 

I’m excited for the next. 

Soph x