I GOT DUMPED... AGAIN LOL
I'm glad I can write a blog to sort of take the mic of out myself a bit because if I didn't then this whole time I would of crumbled under the pressure of a heartbreak. This won't be a diss or a beefy post about why I hate people so much but more a 'you've got this gorl' kind of thing.
Don't get me wrong I'm over the situation and what ever the fuck happened because it was quite bad but for me finally being able to write about how I'm feeling feels like a major milestone to me. So to answer my own question how do I feel?
I feel self conscious and shit. I feel powerful and ready to take things on. I feel sad and lonely. I feel more mature and less weak. I feel everything. I feel heartless yet full of love for the people who didn't let me down like they did. I feel like I can't bare the thought of another heartbreak but I feel ready to go out and enjoy myself. I can't express to you have bizarre it is to feel every emotion at once but I'm glad I have experienced it and moved on from my mistakes.
I've learnt that a best friend can chose a boy over you. I've learnt that sometimes when people say 'I love you' they meant it for someone else. I've learnt that a best friend will tell you straight what is going on but let you learn from your own mistakes. I've learnt mental health is not as important as all these people tweet about. I've learnt a lot and I'm hoping on the opposite side of the story they all have too.
See i'm completely heartbroken and a bit empty right now but it won't last. I have my family and friends who know me and who I am. I have personal goals I'm trying to complete and I have memories that are hard to let go of but proud to have.
So this isn't just to my ex if you didn't guess, it's to all the ex's in my life... friends, boys and even family. Everything happens for a reason and I'm ready to move on even though it's not what I ever intended to do. Good luck and thank you for teaching me who loves me, who cares about me and what a real snake is.
Soph x
