GOODBYE TEENAGE YEARS
For me, the last twenty years of my life has been a rollercoaster like I'm sure it has been for the rest of us but as I woke up on the 13th of July 2018 one thought ran threw my mind.... I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP. After I had a mini meltdown in my brain that I was no longer able to use the excuse that I'm a teenager I thought long and hard about the twenty years I've lived, until my boyfriend snored so loud I nearly burst an eardrum.
I've learnt that no matter how HARD I try, I will just never have a salad over a large meaty pizza. I will never get over the fear of being in confined spaces (thanks to my brother and sister for that one) so much so I can't even think about them without feeling like I can't breathe. I will never enjoy sand in my toes or watching (brace yourself for this one) Spongebob Squarepants. I will never stop going to gigs even though my bank account cries at the thought of them. But I have learnt a few things that I hope will help me in my older years, things that will help me grow as a person.
I've learnt that I love hard and easy. Not easy in the sense that you can say hi and i'll be your number one fan but more like I fall in love with people easy when I see characteristics in them that I want to be like. I fall easy when I see someone with a good heart and intentions. I also fall REALLY easy if they have curly hair, can play guitar and is called Brad from the Vamps... just joking... or am i.... I am seriously not.
I have learnt that you have to be kind and polite without any intentions behind your actions. You should do things just because and not for something. But with learning that I have also learnt that most of the time it does go unnoticed and you rarely get the kindness in return so keep your head up, don't get disappointed and carry on. One kind gesture goes a long way even if it's just you who knows it.
Encouraging people with their dreams and goals is something that didn't take me long to figure out. I love how passionate people get and how they really involve themselves with what they love whether I am into it or not. Being supportive of someone can really do a lot without you or them realising it so let your boyfriend play guitar for hours on end even if you did want to watch love island, take photos for someone who is invested in their fashion/blog/instagram and feed the cat every weekend when your parents are running drift events for a drift family who love them just as much as I do.
It is OKAY to not be OKAY. Sometimes I feel like I can't even leave my room because I'm pretty down and all I want is to face my bed and not the world. Some days I wake up fresh and ready for the day. Both of those situations are okay and no one is going to be perfect all the time. Speak about it, learn the best personal ways to deal with it, watch chick flicks all day while eating your body weight in chocolate but most importantly grow from it, it can only get easier if you let it.
I have been taught so so so many things in the 2 decades of my existence but the one thing that will always be the most important is to stay true to yourself. There is only one me at the end of the day so I have to be the best version of myself on the good and the bad days, the days where I lose friendships and the days when I gain them, the days I can't wait to get to work and the days I can't wait for it to end and the days where I'm proud, happy, sad, annoyed, anxious, determined, passionate, tired and most importantly the days when I'm the kindest, most generous and most loving I can be.
Happy twenty years to me.
Soph x
