Making A Bad Situation Into A Good One

MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST.

Although it's my day off and I should be happy, I've been thinking all day 'As much as I want to be in bed this means I'll be working all weekend' and after all day going through my work app and sending messages back and forth to my team (what a loser day off I know) I started to realise why I'm in the position I'm in..... And I got a gush of achievement.

 I got a voice note from someone I'm working really closely with at work and consider a good friend about how they had achieved loads over the day and did everything I asked him (nicely) to do and at the end he said 'come in tomorrow and do your magic' and at that point I was like HOLY SMOKES. Not a bad 'Holy Smokes' but a good one because although I know the team and have for a while I've actually only been Topman's (only) visual merchandiser for a week and a bit and I already feel like such a respected part of the team and it's the bestest feeling especially as I haven't felt that in a long time.....

When I say 'making a bad situation into a good one' it was aimed at a lot of aspects of my life like my job, my relationships and friendships but mainly based on my mental health. I was the visual merchandiser for mainly Topshop and Topman before converting entirely to Topman and the team was a lot different. We had a much larger team of about 7 compared to my team of 1 now (with a lot of support that I make help me out haha) and it was so difficult to really know your place. My job is so fast paced that (in Topshop) you don't get much time for your development and you have to go through so many people that you never really grasp the real reason as to why you are re-merching the wall you did just yesterday and so for me I felt I need to take the contract for Topman and focus on progression and most importantly to me.... learning why I do what I do. 

Since moving to Topman I feel important in my role but not more important then anyone else because we come as a team (does that make sense? probs not) and we all know where we all stand and want to lift each other up rather than watch us fall. The same can't be said about Topshop and that's not me slating the people but it's just the way it goes in a large and very fast-pace store and you'll get that anywhere! I respect all of the Topshop team but I knew for me that my best way to progress within my job and the business would to make the brave step into Topman and I haven't looked back so far. 

When it comes to my relationship status I've had an interesting coping mechanism (to bash boys on my blog apparently) since the last person I was seeing turned out to be someone I really didn't expect him to be but I've turned the page and now focusing on me and although that bad part of my life will still pop every now and again to remind me of him/us (WHO HAS A FAMILY COMPANY WITH A MILLION LORRIES THAT DRIVE PAST YOU EVERYDAY AND WORK RIGHT WHERE YOU PARK ANYWAY) but I've been on a date and I'm focusing on my career so really that time of my life is coming to an end and I'm trying to make the best out of this single life situation as best as I can. 

Basically you have to rely on yourself to make your own happiness because once you allow other people to do that then when they let you down it's a lot harder to get back up without wanting it all back again and you SHOULD never dwell on the past but always be excited for what is to come. Making a bad situation into a good one applies to every aspect of life and although some bad situations are harder to mend know that if you want to be happy then one day it will come to you because controlling your life is a lot more fulfilling and healthy then letting someone else control it for you. 

Soph x    

Fuck Boys.. And Fuck Girls: Is It Really A Bad Thing?

GOING WITH THE FLOW

I was once seeing a boy who said he would only be satisfied with a blog post if his name was in the title... so your wish is finally my command. 

Before you think this is a boy bashing blog I want to say it really isn't. It's all about knowing what you want and what you don't want even when it's a scary thing especially when society is telling you what you should want and what you shouldn't want. I've been in this rut that I like to call 'Soph has no heart' since I got shamefully dumped a couple of months ago. I used to be obsessed with the idea of love that I would fall quick and hard and that is exactly what I did only to be shot down a lot quicker and a lot harder but it has taught me a lot and now I'm all about the having fun and saying 'FUCK YOU' to love.... for now anyway.

I used to hate the idea of seeing multiple people at once and going on a series of dates to find 'the one' but now that doesn't really bother me at all. Granted I can't get a lot of people to want to date me BUT i'm more of a Soph there really knows there are plenty more fish in the big old sea so the first guy you go on a date with that laughs at things you wouldn't laugh at and who orders the tuna pasta that you have phobia of, maybe isn't the one. People like to just go on dates and people meet the person they have been meaning to find on that first date too and both are completely okay. I'm young, starting my career and SINGLE so why the hell can I not want to flirt with a few guys or go on two or twenty dates (if I was ever that lucky)? Don't panic if at first you don't succeed because who the fuck cares.

The term 'sleeping around' has always been seen in such a negative way but what really is all that wrong with it? If two people make an agreement that they want to just have a bit of fun with no strings then hey bloody go for it, they aren't hurting anymore. Life can be too overwhelming at times that the thought of even 'seeing' someone seems like an impossible task so having a bit of fun every now and again with someone else who wants to have a bit of fun every now and again doesn't sound like a completely awful plan. The words 'slut' and 'slag' fly around social media when you've had sex with more than -3 people especially when it's out of a relationship but really we should be egging people on to be truthful and mature about something that is truthful and super mature. There is plenty of time to find your future spouse so don't feel like you need to keep up with society's standards of #relationshipgoals and go and get laid if that is all you really want because lets be honest.... FEELINGS SUCK.

If there is anything I can really relate to it's the whole 'taking it slow' thing. I'm a taking it slow kind of girl (although I haven't always been) and I think that is something that I will be for the foreseeable future. Some people take two days to get into a relationship and I've known people to take two years and neither of those situations are wrong nor stupid. We used to tease my best friend A LOT for seeing her then boyfriend for like 9 months before making it official and now I take my baker boy hat off to her because that will be me when I eventually find someone who I deem (urm) acceptable enough to take me on more than one date. Being super chill and casual about a situation like a relationship can do really good things or really really bad things because sometimes (sadly for me... well his loss) one party can lose interest and not give 100% and that only ever leads to certain heartbreak and possibly even.... DEATH... just joking hehe. Putting the big old BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND label on can be either a really exciting and eager thought or a really scary and daunting thought so make sure you take as much time as you need and as much time as they need because rushing into things or taking things too slow can lead to hard times and well not hard times (if you get what I mean there...).

So from single me to you know that having a booty call, taking your time, or completely ignoring all of the opposite/same sex has it's pros and cons. You CAN be the 'slut' society seems to love to call people who have sex outside of marriage, you CAN be the boy who wants to takes things three years slow just so you know you really want it and you CAN be the girl who has been on three dates in one week just so you know you aren't missing that rare killer whale because why fucking not.

Have fun because life is too damn short.

Soph.... your fellow young, single and taking it real slow kinda gal x  

Recognition

I HAVE REALISED A LOT

This weekend I went back to where I grew up and to say I recognised how much my life has changed is an understatement. I saw family and friends, got drunk when I really shouldn't of, reminisced on funny memories but the most eye opening thing I did this whole weekend was talk about.... me. 

Obviously going back to where I moved away from people are going to ask me a lot of questions like 'How's living in cambridge?' 'how is the job going?' 'Who are your fit friends and are they single' and after having to answer these questions at least five different times I noticed all that I have achieved in the space of one year. It's crazy when you look back on twelve months because so much can happen and it's not really a long period of time. A lot of people have congratulated me on my job with a follow up question of 'what exactly do you do as a visual merchandiser' and a lot of people have asked either why I was with my ex boyfriend, how it ended or if I miss him/ the relationship at all. Obviously one conversation was easier than the other but I am an open person so I told them and moved swiftly on to ask what they had for dinner last night...

 I think for me recognising what I have achieved is a massive flaw of mine because I am always looking at what I haven't achieved. I'm a very driven person and I also want the next step but sometimes I need to sit back and look at what I've done and what I'm doing and so with people asking me what I've been up to since I moved I have had the chance to reflect and pat myself on the back a little bit. I've made mistakes, I've had people give up on me and I've had really crappy situations happen but I've made the bestest friends, I'm working my way up the career ladder and getting somewhere with that and most importantly I have lost people who never deserved me anyway. 

I came back to my 'home town' and I found out nasty and untrue rumours were being spread about me even though I had been gone a year and at first I was angry and maybe tweeted when I shouldn't of but then I realised if they are still talking about me then they clearly still care.... Imma just sit back with my tea on this one. But seriously I learnt that no matter what people are saying about me the people who truly know me have stuck up, stood by me and would not believe a single thing and that's why it is all worth it. My friend told me and immediately said 'don't worry Soph I didn't listen' and that was exactly why I was eating a kokoro with him and not them. 

What I'm trying to say is that no matter what stage of the year you are in, whether everything has gone downhill or whether everything is at it's peak, reflect on the last twelve months and note all that you have been through, whether you got a new job, a new friend, found love, got your heartbroken or still in the 'trying to find someone ANYONE PLS' stage of your life, was all worth it because it's all setting you up for the next twelve months and you can look back and thank the girl who spread the untrue rumours, the boy who you fell in love with, the family members you created the happiest of memories with and the friends who accepted you and believed in you because that's what life is all about. 

Recognising what you have achieved is one of the hardest things to do but don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. You're doing great. 

Soph x 

Dear Younger Self

HI LITTLE SOPH.

Seeing as time travel hasn't been invented yet this is the best I'm gunna get. I've learnt so much these past couple of years and although there is still so much to learn and overcome you will come out at the end. I promise. You are going to love and hate. You are going to get hurt multiple times. You are going to witness your dad marry the love of his life. You are going to get very very drunk to the point you'll ring the boy you fancy and call him 'babycakes'. You are going to organise and help run a fashion show that goes so smoothly you wouldn't of believed it. You are finally going to move to Royston after many of years saying you will next year. And sadly you're going to get your heart broken in multiple different situations at the most unpredictable of times. 

 Life is fun and exciting and you will be given so many opportunities but you won't be able to share those with your mum, your grandma or even that best friend you thought would be your ben to your jerrys forever. That sounds sad and it is.. you can be sad but you have that friend you never thought would be well.. your friend, you'll have a step mum you go home to every evening and pour your little heart out to and you will have a team leader at work who knows the face 'I need a hug' and will proceed to give you the most comforting of hugs. 

 You are going to develop a real love of eye shadow and winged eyeliner (which has taken you years to perfect) and you will stop climbing trees and start merchandising walls in a flagship Topshop/Topman store. There will be so much for you to learn and so much to achieve but you will want it and succeed even though there are people who are praying for you to fail. But most importantly you don't give up and that is what you are most proud of. 

Two days after your 19th birthday you are going to go out in a killer white dress with a pink fluffy crown on. You are going to dance with your friends and end up on top floor to catch some fresh air and to cool your forehead down that is overheating because of your fringe and without any intentions on your behalf you are going to be swept off your feet by a very tall and handsome guy. It goes REALLY well for a bit but then you get your heartbroken and think the whole world is crumbling down and you don't know why. You think of all your past relationships and wonder why they didn't hurt you as much as this and then it clicks. Most of your exs were really nice guys who you can still get on with (please note the most) but this guy will put you through something you never ever deserved and the most important thing to remember is just that. YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT. You are going to love hard and that is what you need to take out of it. You learn that it isn't a bad thing to let your guard down even when you don't want to and that you thinking about other people all the time will not make a very happy Soph. Be honest and open and whether they reply or not you know you tried. 

You are going to develop a real love for mini cheddars and you will continue to love chicken nuggets so much so Dad will never stop telling you 'you're going to look like one soon'.

  You are going to become an aunty to a beautiful little boy who you need to see more even though it is hard. You are going to start to feel like an only child more and more each day but you will still love your siblings just as much as you did when you all lived together under one roof before all the problems started. 

You are going to learn a lot about families and friendships, you're going to be in a year and a half relationship and even when it's over see only the best in him, you are going to start your period and cry about how painful it is every month, You are going to develop a strong love for David Tennant as the Doctor and you are going to become a human jukebox that people class as your party trick. 

Although you will spend years looking in the mirror thinking what if and you will get let down so much to the point you doubt yourself you, I, will tick things off the 'holy shit I did that' list and be proud of where you are at 19 years old with no mother but a loving family, without the best friend of 12 years (she's still a great human, there is no shade what so ever) but with a new group of pals and sadly without my Grandma who I know will be equally as proud.

 From me to myself, You've got this. 

Soph x

Feeling Good For Halloween

HALLOWEEN 2017

I'm not going to lie... I wanted to look good this halloween. When you have had a boy dump you your self confidence goes down A LOT and so I needed to try and make myself feel better by buying a really sexy dress, putting some false lashes on (super proud of myself for this one seeing as I'm not a girl) and curling my hair and that is exactly what I did. Just a disclaimer that I like doing this just for myself and not to grab the attention from anyone else. This isn't a scary costume or even a costume at all but the I felt good and that was all that mattered. For the only part of my 'costume' that was Halloween themed I wore some weird black and red horns that I got last year and you bet as soon as I got on the dance the horns came off and 'landed' on a random persons head who was lucky enough to walk past me at the time. Here is to the start of the best time of year and to a new and improved Soph.... the version that doesn't give a fuck.

Charlotte looked incred as always and I was super happy to have her by my side. We are both going through this rut together so I couldn't think of anyone I would want to get glammed up with more and have a boogie with because gurl we deserve it. 

 DRESS-OH POLLY

SHOES-NEW LOOK (out of stock)

HORNS- ACCESSORISE (old)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! BOO! DON'T GET EATEN BY AN MONSTERS! BE NICE TO KIDS NO MATTER HOW ANNOYING IT IS THAT THEY WON'T STOP KNOCKING ON THE DOOR WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH EASTENDERS!

Soph x  

Is Being Selfish A Good Thing?

HELL NO

If there is one thing that really bugs me it's people who think the world revolves around them. Who make it out like their problem is worse than yours or that their problems are more important than yours. People who think that the topic of conversation has to be about them. The humans who think only for their best interests and not the persons who they are hurting. 

I had a conversation the other night with someone who I really didn't think I would be having the convo with but I did and it made me realise how shitty one person has been to me due to his selfishness. It opened my eyes to people around me and how they are treating me and how maybe I am being to certain people. So I text a friend a need, I read more 'small' blogs and supported some of them, I cleaned up after my dad who had probably made a gross sandwich that consisted of marmite, peanut butter, salad cream and beetroot and I decided to write this blog. I think sometimes we lose sight of what is important and get wrapped up in our own worlds that we forget about what else is going on and there is nothing wrong with that as long as we get back on track and realise our lives are not the only lives that matter. 

With my job taking up a lot of my life and a heartbreak I have been distracted to say the least and it is something I am desperate to change. My job is something I can't do much about it because it really is a step in the right direction for me but the heartbreak is something that makes my life decisions for me and nope I'm not about it. I'm angry more than I am upset just because of all that happened and so in my head I am just fully like 'fuck all boys I hate you I hate you I hate you' when really I should just be going with the flow. I'm sure if you have had a girl/boy hurt you in ways you didn't know you could be hurt then you will have that mindset for a bit and I don't know if it is just me but do you just fully hate the idea of putting yourself in the position to possibly be hurt again? If any thing it has taught me that I want to be alone for a while and not commit to something that isn't me and that is when being selfish is okay just don't knock anyone down in the process that doesn't deserve it. 

Everyone has to be selfish at times because you can't live a happy life if you're doing everything to please everyone else. If you need to do something for you or your future then your friends and family should understand and stick by you no matter what but do not take that for granted and forget relationships are a two way thing. If a friend needs you be there. If a family member needs you be there. I'm sure on the flip side they will be there for you in your time of need too. I don't really know what the rights and wrongs are here but if it feels like you're hurting someone then that is probably when being selfish isn't the best thing to do.

 I've grown up with two very selfless parents who show me everyday how dedicated they are to making everyone else happy. They run motorsport/drifting events pretty much every weekend and then work during the week. Although they live and breathe cars what they do every weekend isn't for them, it is for everyone else. They love what they do because they love to bring people together to do something they love for a really cheap price that no where else can offer them. They don't run the events for a profit or to get any recognition they do it so the people who love to drift can do exactly that without having to get a loan out. That's what makes me most proud. They do not do it for money they do it to simply make hundreds of people happy and it really shows. However when you run big events some people are bound to be shitty and they have defo experienced that a few times to say the least. That's when being selfless has it's flaws and you just can't help it.  You can not please everyone but my parents are lucky enough to be so incredibly loved by so many people that one tiny negative post on facebook (that is totally uncalled for) can have hundreds of replies back (in simply terms)  saying 'shut up'. I aspire to be like them everyday. 

So if you think that being selfish more times than often is the right thing then maybe we are not the most likely of people to get on and although I admire your self love I think you probably need to take a step back and see theres more to life than just you. Sorry not sorry but being a kind, thoughtful and considerate person is so much better than being a selfish, rude and ignorant one. Text that girl back whose heart you broke and say sorry, Tell your friend you love them and will always be there no matter what and put yourself first sometimes. Chose your path... I'm sticking with mine. 

Soph x 

Welcome To My Blog

WELL THIS IS WEIRD

If you've never read my blog before then you'll probably think this is just a nice friendly welcoming... which I guess it is but for those of you who have been with me for a bit or so then you'll think why the bloody hell are you writing this now after months of frequent posts. WELL fear no longer I'm about to tell you... I know you felt no fear but moving on. 

For me I feel like my blog has taken a huge change of direction this past month or so and I myself didn't really know what was going on or how to explain it. I've gone from writing about my outfits to more serious and advice like posts and I'm really not mad about it. I love fashion with my whole life and that will always be the main focus for me but writing comes so naturally that I need to jot down wants in my head and this is where it all comes spilling out. I will never stop going through stuff that everyone can relate to because I'm a (not for much longer HOW SAD) teenage girl and we go through the lot. 

So hi welcome to my blog! I write a load of crap that people actually want to read and sometimes even comment back to me about how it's helping them (how cool is that) but I enjoy what I do and I hope you reading this will enjoy what I do too. I've never been one to brag or say I'm better than anyone but this little blog I've created makes me more happy then you will ever know and that is how I know I'm winning. I get to talk about crappy boys who have broke my heart, girls who think they are gods gift because they are prettier than me, family members that make my little heart burst with love and friends who make my cheeks and tummy hurt from laughing and do you know what? I fucking love it. 

If you have ever thought about starting a blog then do it what is really the worst that can happen? I say it all the time but I write for me and no one else so if someone doesn't like it then I don't really care and if someone does like it then that is an added bonus that makes me very happy. My blog is about channelling my feelings, sharing my personal advice, showing you outfits I've worn, documentation of my travels and memories and most importantly to me my blog is me. Everything I write is me and everything I share with you is me. 

To the people who inspire my posts (good and the arseholes), to the people who read my blog, to the people who take photos for me, to the people who message me saying you can relate and to the one guy (BOY) who broke my heart, gave me plenty of fuel for my fire and who made me want to change my blog.... Thank you so so so so much.

Welcome to my blog. 

Soph x