IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?
I read a really interesting article the other day and it really opened my eyes on my once 'only rule of dating'. My one rule is to never get back with an ex because you clearly broke up for a reason but now I don't see that as a very clever idea. I've always been too stubborn to be like 'oh I'll go back to them' because I always try and tell people I'm completely over them and in most cases I am but there are a few ex's that I would love to rekindle with just to see if we have grown up and moved on from what was once something that really wasn't working.
In this article they were talking about how a girl had a boyfriend as a teenager and after being split for two years, with one of those years in another (unsuccessful) relationship, they bumped into each other and the sparks flew so much they are now married and happy. I'm not saying this is aimed at me at all but I'm just particularly interested about this topic of conversation because of how much I was once against it. I wouldn't judged other people but you're quick to make the opinion of 'well surely that can't work' because it just doesn't seem likely to work again seeing as your relationship got so bad to the point it needed to end but sometimes it is just because of wanting other things and growing up and who knows after a few years apart you could be in the job you worked hard to get so much so your girlfriend had to leave you to pursue it or you could just be a lot more mature and want to finally commit to that person.
I'm a strong believer that most of my relationships (that were going well) didn't work because of timing. I've had a lot going on the past couple of years that the thought of committing to someone even though I was moving two hours away permanently pushed me away and actually had people push me away because of. I've had someone not want to carry on the relationship because they could not balance me and their job (saddest case for me personally) and I've just had the typical fuckboy who hates any thought of commitment (GROW UP). The most important thing to remember is that this happens to everyone (if not then lucky you babes) so you can have glitches and bumps in the road but that does not mean it will never ever work again. You once had feelings so strong you didn't want anyone else so you can feel that again and not feel bad about it.
When it comes to cases like being cheated on or being left for another person that is when I would say never again just because I know my worth and so should you. If someone was distracted before then they will more than likely be distracted again until they find the right person for them and although that sounds really bloody sad it's not because it will teach you that they were never really the person for you. Another thing that puts me off getting back with someone is if you were never really truly on. I have this 'on/off' situation with a boy and I have for years and years but it has never truly been on and so now I'm thinking that it is time to just call it quits. It's one of those situations where you really want them but they will never really want you they just think they do and that's okay because it just means that there is someone perfect for them and I'm so excited for him to find it.
Basically what I'm trying to say is keep an open mind. Don't go against your morals or your self-worth but think about whether or not someone new can make you happy or whether someone already has and you are not ready to fully let go. It can take months or years but we live and learn and grow and if they have lived and learned and grew too then what's stopping you from learning about the new them and them getting to know the new you. They loved you once they can love you again. Take your time because you have either found the one or you're simply still searching and there is nothing wrong with either of those things.
Soph x
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