BEING YOU

IT'S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT 

A lot of my life I've been worried about whether people think i'm 'normal' enough and I honestly don't know why. For example at work yesterday it was the annual student night and we had a DJ blasting music (and when I say blasting I mean BLASTING) and instead of me enjoying what seemed to be a playlist made for me I was too worried about whether the customers on Topman would think I was a right loonie and so just kept restocking arms and tidying up after all theses guys who clearly didn't know what the purpose of the hanger was. I felt like I needed my right hand woman with me to 'cut some shapes' (inside joke) who was stuck two floors above me but that shouldn't of been the case. 

  It's fair to say (I think anyway) I'm a free spirit and I don't usually care what other people think of me but recently my confidence has been knocked with a hammer the size of the Empire State Building on top of Mount Everest and sometimes I get really upset that someone let me go and I had no explanation as to why, but then other days I'll be like your loss hun I'm 10/10 and I think that is perfectly okay. We all have to love ourselves sometimes even if someone else isn't because my opinion of me is more important than some silly boy/girl who ever made me doubt myself. 

My parents are probably part of the weirdest group of humans I know and so growing up I never really thought being 'weird' could be seen as a 'bad thing' but more of a beautiful way of expressing yourself. Don't get me wrong now I appreciate someone with a fun and quirky side like myself but when I was at school I tried to hide it to seem like one of the normal cute girls everyone would like but boy I wish I could tell myself that IT DOESN'T MATTER. I'd much rather be made to look like a tit while enjoying myself then the shy Soph everyone used to know because life is only boring if you make it and you really do only live once so live a little, crack a joke and do that weird dance move all your friends will film for their probably already full of you doing stupid stuff snapchat story. I now don't find anything nicer than seeing my step mum laugh hard at a facebook message she has got from their group chat or witnessing them play very inappropriate games that lets just say involves something that can be used for pleasure or if you are them then something you can throw at the side of a burger van and see if it sticks.... 

Embracing the sillier side of yourself does not make you immature or young but fun and youthful and they are two things I never want to lose the feeling of. I thought that making my instagram more of a fashion and styling kind of feed rather than a friends and a selfie kind of look would mean people would judge me and think I am big headed or that I love myself. That is not the case. I love to write my blog more than anything in this world and I love all that comes with it. The photography, the editing and the promotion. I have said this before and I'll defo say it again but I do NOT write my blog for anyone but myself. I do not write it to get views but I write to see if the people who do view it like my style of writing. my topics of conversations and even sometimes (only sometimes though) my outfits. I live and breathe fashion so why can't I post my outfit and still be seen as the fun and silly soph most people know me as? The answer is I DO NOT CARE. My instagram my choice.

There will always always always be someone out their who is going to judge something about you no matter how hard you try to be the perfect person but learning to not worry and most importantly not care is super duper important for your mental health. I've learnt to love myself through my family and friends because the people that accept you for your whole self are the ones that you need to listen to. I'm going to carry on doing an irish jig whenever I hear Ed Sheeran come on in a night club, I'm going to carry on laughing my seven different ugly laughs and I'm going to carry on not giving a damn about an irrelevant persons opinions because I am me and I can't and I WON'T change that. 

Soph x