Karma, You Bitch

KINDA A BAD PERSON KINDA DON'T CARE

This last month has been bizarre to say the least. I've never really been one to believe in Karma but I've honestly had so many things happen to me in the last four or five weeks that I must of been Henry the 8th in a past life or something. 

I've done many stupid things that I wouldn't consider to be very Soph like and I've done really great and kinda brave things that again I wouldn't really consider to be a very me like thing but here we are and for some reason I have an extremely guilty conscious. I feel bad and actually seriously disappointing in myself. Not to the point I'm not going out and enjoying myself or anything like that but more like if I get a moment to myself (which is often) then my mind will wonder and think about stuff to the point I can put myself in a bit of a sad mood. 

I'm not trying to get a pity party or anything like that, promise. But I feel like at times you really do have to sit back and look at the moments where you gave in and reacted badly to a situation that maybe you wouldn't of reacted to in that way before and learn from it. I've really grown up this past month and let people go for their benefit and in other cases for mine. Some were extremely unexpected and kinda sad to think about but others have made me feel a sense of relief. And saying that I've gained closer relationships with people who were always there but I just felt so far from because I was so in my bubble. 

I don't want to feel guilty anymore and to be honest I really shouldn't because people have been quite shitty to me but you live and learn and I will never stop overthinking. I will never stop putting people before myself and I will never stop feeling sad about losing people because fuck it I'm only bloody human and I should be allowed to mess up. I should be allowed to be dramatic over certain things. And I should be allowed to feel like someone has royally fucked up because they lost me. Sorry not bloody sorry. 

So to my guilty conscious and my overthinking brain... have a day off because losing people, being mugged off constantly and being made to see red might just try you a tiny bit crazy too x 

Henry the 8th has nothing on me.  

Soph x