Bad Bloody Luck

JUST KEEP SWIMMING 

Life is a very strange thing. One week everything is going your way and you feel like the luckiest person in the world and the next you could be having meltdowns every other day and you feel like everything and everyone is out to get you. How that works I don’t know and tbh I don’t think anyone every will know but you just keep plodding along and just hope for the best. 

My past few months have been full of bad luck. Nothing that is seriously unlucky but I think after so many small little annoyingly stupid and unfair things happen you just get in a mood. A mood where you feel like you will have this bad luck forever. I go to work, go to the gym, sit at home with my cat who doesn’t love me unless it’s just me and her at home, and then go to bed. But in my day I also see my friends at work, I’m developing at work and learning new things, I’m meeting new people and learning all about them, I’m bettering my health and fitness, I’m kind of getting a six pack (only if you squint) and I’m spending time with my family even if it means sitting in front of the telly with a cuppa. Enjoy the tiny things because that’s always what you remember in the long term. 

So basically if you’re like me, queen of bad luck, then take everything in your stride. Be proud that you have to work really hard for things others seem to just be good at (not a dig, they work hard too),  be happy that you get the opportunity to do things others don’t have the privilege to do, be spontaneous and just go with the flow rather then following everything by the book and mostly be motivated to change your bad luck because the reality is that it’s all in our heads and only we can change ourselves for the better. 

We’ve got this.

Soph x 

I Really Just Don't Give A F***

I'M TAKING NO PRISONERS 

It’s a weird concept to me that I have zero emotions seeing as I will cry at any chick flick, will get so angry at people being so malicious to others and I’ll continue to put everyone before myself but I honestly from the bottom of my heart can say I don’t feel a thing. I don’t feel heartbroken or disappointed, I don’t feel stressed or aggregated when I know I should be and I should be expressing that I am. Any of this make sense? I don’t think so but then again no one has understood up until now so if I couldn’t care less then I wouldn’t care less. 

It’s crazy to me that something like this can be triggered by a careless human, a tiny insignificant event that might not matter in a few years or by a build up of mixed emotions you didn’t know you needed to handle. I think that’s okay. I think it’s okay to feel like you’re stuck with not feeling much at all because of something you cared a lot about. I think it’s okay that you might be confused as to why what used to upset you doesn’t upset you anymore. 

I’ve had a lot of crappy situations occur recently but I think the important thing to remember in a time of need is that you can only help yourself if you want to. No one else is in charge of your mind or happiness so make the change yourself if you so wish too (and yes you should really wish too). It’s really hard to write down emotions when you have none but you know what you would be feeling if you did have some. 

If there’s anyone going through this then I guess you can really appreciate that it isn’t just you, that you aren’t a bit crazy for not feeling emotions and it’s not silly to finally not care anymore after being hurt so much. It’s human and natural to finally hang the towel in on caring about people who don’t care about you. For not believing people when they say ‘sorry’ or that they ‘won’t do it again’. For keeping your cards close to your chest because you can’t really trust anyone. For not getting disappointed anymore when something doesn’t go the way you thought it was. This could be about friends, family, boys, careers, education or even just aspirations and goals in whole but they all matter in one way or another and you shouldn’t be made to feel Otherwise. 

There are people much worse off and although I hate that thought it’s the only thing that puts life in perspective. I didn’t get that promotion I worked so bloody hard for, I don’t have the romantic life I so desperately want from the films and I don’t have many people I can speak to without feeling like they will just relate it back to themselves but That’s the beauty of this whole thing. Everything happens for a reason and it makes you learn even if it is the hard way. It makes us stronger and more willing to power through. Things only stay bad if you let it and even if it takes weeks, days or months you will persevere through and it will all be worth it in the end. 

‘Share your time with those who are lonely and give your smile to someone who needs it’ 

Soph x